Love—a word that carries the weight of centuries, shaped by our personal experiences, family stories, and the world around us. In a recent Art of Love live session on Insight Timer, a profound awareness emerged: many conversations about love highlight its absence.

This absence isn’t just about failed relationships or heartbreak; it’s about expectations, conditions, and the silent agreements we unknowingly make in our quest to feel loved. What many call love is, in truth, a transaction—an exchange of energy dependent on certain behaviors, words, or actions to feel its presence.

But love, as I have come to understand, is not something to be bartered or earned. Love is not the feeling we get when someone meets our expectations—it is the space in which all things are allowed, without judgment.

The Illusion of Unconditional Love

We all desire to be loved and accepted for who we are—a natural human longing. But what happens when that acceptance is sought outside ourselves? When we rely on another person to make us feel whole? It can feel wonderful when they uplift us, reflecting the love we crave.

But what happens when they are tired, upset, or lost in their own struggles?

Have you ever found yourself frustrated because someone close isn’t giving you the attention, support, or affection you expected? Have you ever tried to soothe someone—not because they needed it, but because you needed them to be okay so you could feel better?

This is not love. This is dependency. It’s handing over our emotional well-being to someone else.

And if we’re honest, it’s exhausting for both sides.

If you do something expecting something in return—whether it be kindness, recognition, or even just being spoken to nicely—then it’s not love. It’s a contract. But what if the other person never agreed to the terms?

The Outsourcing of Love and Worthiness

Perhaps, as a society, we’ve outsourced love. We’ve placed our sense of worth and validation in the hands of others. Maybe this started as a way to foster kindness and harmony, or perhaps as a means of control.

But whatever its origins, we must now ask ourselves:

Is this way of love serving us?

If you’re waiting for someone or something to make you feel whole, you’re handing over your power. Love is not something we are given—it is something we are.

The Understanding Process: A Journey to Self-Love

If these ideas trigger you, I invite you to step into The Understanding Process, a simple yet transformative approach I’ve developed to help navigate emotions and reconnect with your inner wisdom.

1. Stand – Pause. Take five minutes each day to ground yourself in the present moment. Breathe deeply and center yourself in your own energy.
2. Under – Look beneath the surface. If something triggers you, don’t react—investigate. Ask yourself:

2. What is beneath this discomfort?
3. What is this situation really teaching me?
4. Why am I responding this way?

By exploring these questions, we shift from feeling powerless to becoming the creators of our own experience.

A New Paradigm of Love in the Age of Aquarius

Everything is changing. In truth, change is constant, but in this age of information, we are bombarded with an unprecedented flood of data entering our energy field at breakneck speed. Processing this overwhelming influx can be challenging, especially if we’re unaware of our emotions and how to consciously shift our energy.

When we lack awareness or struggle to focus on energy that truly aligns with us, change can feel chaotic and unsettling. Yet, by recognizing how much we are absorbing, we can begin to navigate it with greater ease. Despite the overwhelm, we stand at the threshold of a profound leap in consciousness—one that will accelerate humanity’s evolution.

We are transitioning from the Age of Pisces, where love was often entwined with sacrifice, longing, and the search for completion in another, into the Age of Aquarius. In this new era, love is no longer an act of self-sacrifice—it is an act of self-discovery.

• Love isn’t something to earn or prove—it’s something to become.
• You don’t have to conform to be loved—you are already worthy.
• Your family isn’t just who you were born to—it’s who resonates with your soul.

For generations, love was shaped by tradition, duty, and societal roles. In the past, acceptance often required us to shrink ourselves to fit into the expectations of family or culture.

But now, love is shifting from obligation to choice.

Love is no longer transactional—it is expansive. It’s not a currency to be exchanged; it’s a state of being.

Boundaries: The Bridge to True Love

Do we set boundaries, or do we engage in self-sabotage?

Boundaries aren’t about saying, “You upset me, and I won’t tolerate it.” Boundaries are gentle instructions—ways of teaching others how to love and respect us.

• A boundary is saying, “Please take your shoes off when you enter my space.”
• Self-sabotage is staying silent, then feeling hurt when someone doesn’t remove their shoes—believing it means they don’t care.

Boundaries are agreements, not walls. They’re invitations to deeper understanding. When we communicate our needs clearly and without judgment, we give others the opportunity to love us in a way that aligns with who we truly are.

A Final Reflection: You Are Love

As we step deeper into this age of transformation, let’s remember:

• You no longer need to prove your worth—you already are worthy.
• You don’t need validation to love yourself—your love is already within you.
• You’re not separate from love—you are love.

The journey isn’t about finding love; it’s about remembering that you are love. Embrace the fullness of who you are—free, whole, and complete. When you embody this truth, you no longer need to lean on or be lifted by another. Instead, you meet others in your wholeness, co-creating magical experiences that propel us all into the next stage of human evolution and infinite possibility. By living authentically, you inspire others to recognize their empowerment, encouraging them to create the lives of their dreams, rather than seeking fulfillment from others.

Embracing the Journey of Love

Love begins within. By releasing fear and embracing our authentic selves, we not only enrich our own lives but also inspire those around us.

As we navigate this journey, it’s essential to reflect on our own experiences. Consider:

• Self-Reflection: How often do you seek love outside yourself? What steps can you take to nurture self-love?
• Setting Boundaries: Are your relationships based on mutual respect and understanding? How can you establish healthy boundaries that honour your true self?
• Embracing Change: In what ways can you shift from fear-based thinking to a mindset rooted in love and abundance?

By pondering these questions, you embark on your own journey toward unconditional love, fostering deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.

Thank you for sharing this moment with me. If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.

And remember… You are love, and you are loved. 💖✨

🔗 Explore More on The Art of Love Part 2

📺 YouTube Videos: Click Here
🎧 Listen to Ep 5 Soul Sparks Podcast Love Beyond Illusion – Part Two: Rediscovering Love Beyond Conditions click here